I almost don't want to admit that I've seen this film. I went to see it one night after work when I'd finished work early, couldn't be bothered to go home and just wanted to go and watch a silly film which would make me laugh once or twice, it wouldn't be a hilarious film, it probably wouldn't be a film I could remember in a month or so, but it would pass the time and it would be a mildly distracting way to end the day. What I got however was Goon, a film which I honestly can't work out anything about it. For example, what is the target audience for this film? Is it meant to be a comedy? Am I meant to like any of the characters? and Would Hockey teams really hire people with no Hockey talent, but who were great at punching?
Let me start out by saying, hand on heart, I didn't laugh once during this film. I saw the moments that I think you were supposed to be laughing at, mostly the moments where The Goon's best friend is telling us about his balls, or pretending to commit sexual acts whilst with the Goon's parents. I assume these moments were being played for laughs, because if they were not, then the actual point of these moments is even more perplexing. Okay... so the plot... Seann William Scott is lost in life, not sure what to do he goes to a hockey match, here one of the players makes a slurr about Gay people, and as his brother is gay, the Goon objects and gets into a fight with him. This is all seen by the coach of a local Hockey team who believes that he could save his team from failure. Apparently in Hockey beating the living shit out of someone is simply part of the game. despite showing no talent he moves up to the big leagues where he develops a rival and love interest and ultimately prevails and gets his team into the playoffs.
It's all so generic is bored me writing it. There's not much else I would like to say about this film, but I will say a couple of things. Firstly the violence is needless. I'm not one to shy away from on screen violence, hell in the right setting and circumstance it can make a film incredibly enjoyable, the violence here was quite frankly a little disgusting. Did we really need to see someone having their ankle trod on by an ice skate for example? or did we really need to see someones ankle breaking complete with sound effects and close ups to emphasize the point? Did we need to see teeth being knocked out in such great detail. The director seemed to revel in the violence, it added nothing to the story, in fact I thought it detracted from it and made me even more confused. The love interest mostly consisted of the Goon telling a girl how cute he thought she was, before her admitting to being a slut, as she had a boyfriend, and later telling the Goon that he made her want to stop fucking other men (the sign of true love I believe). It felt flat, and just a bit ridiculous.
Finally I would just like to say that this film marks a low point in cinema this year, I know it's early, but if a film comes out that I enjoyed less than this one, then we're in very worrying times at all. Oh and you know the most confusing thing of all, the question that plagued me the entire time I was watching this film? If you're best talent is that you can both take a punch and deliver them with just as much strength. Why would you become a hockey player (particularly if you can't skate)... why wouldn't you simply become a boxer? Like this pile of shit that they call a film... It doesn't make any sense.
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